Doormat: Chapter One
by Me Am Hulk
Summary: Jun Fudou is a fashion model by day and a Beast Hunter by night. As she juggles the two condradictory facets of her life, she must also contend with another menace lurking in her very own home: Her ROOMATE.


**DOORMAT**

A _**DevilLady**_ fanfic by Me Am Hulk!

**CHAPTER ONE –**

Fudou Jun – a lithe and gorgeous photographer's model by trade – lay beneath a snowy white blanket. Her comely, delicate, raven-coiffed head was perched upon a downy pillow. Her porcelain face twists and crinkles as she snores and sputters in her sleep.

At last, sunlight streaming through her window roused her. The graceful brunette winced and coughed as she turned away from the window. With a slender finger, she probed her left nostril, dug out a clog of snot and wiped it on her blanket.

"Is it Saturday?" she inquired an empty room. "It better be Saturday."

Propping her self upon her shoulders, Jun yawned, her tongue lolling around inside her gaping mouth. She licked her lips and true to her daily routine she rolled off the mattress…

…and fell six feet to the floor, landing violently on her lean, curvaceous bottom.

Recovering her wits, Jun struggled to her seat. She searched the room for the source of her discomfort and noticed an unfamiliar feature in her bedroom – a bunk bed.

_When,_ she wondered, _did I ever have need for a bunk bed?_ As an only child, she had no need for a bunk bed. Besides, her day is supposed to begin with her softly placing her feet on the carpeted floor.

She unleashed an unladylike bellow. "OW, who put this damned thing in my house?"

The sound of boiling water and a young girl's voice humming a popular tune drifted in from her the room just outside. _It sounds familiar, that voice_, Jun mused. The girl's voice was a new addition to her surroundings. She kept her ear on the voice as she examined the bunk bed a second time. The puzzle came into shape: the voice, the girl, the new furniture, the new furniture that she herself bought for the new living arrangements.

"Oh yeah… that's right," Jun groaned. "SHE'S here."

The sweet, girlish voice called from just outside.

"Hello?" the voice carried both concern and amusement. "Did my sweet

baboo have an accident?"

Jun muttered a protest against being called a sweet baboo. Only Takiura Kazumi ever referred to her that way. Jun struggled to her feet and slouched through the door to greet her new roommate.

Entering the dining room, Jun carried her tall willowy frame gracelessly to a chair and collapsed into it. She rested her head on one hand and regarded Kazumi – the owner of the tuneful voice and the new addition to Jun's formerly lonely household.

In Jun's kitchenette, Kazumi busily whisked up a breakfast of miso soup, eggs and tofu. She hummed a popular tune as she placed her handiwork on two dishes. Her emerald eyes caught Jun from across the room. She tossed her light brown hair, smiled, blew a kiss, and giggled.

Jun forced a smile on her face and mimed catching the kiss. Kazumi was undoubtedly infatuated with Jun. At first Jun was charmed by the attention. Kazumi was also in Jun's profession and would trail after her like an eager younger sister.

One fateful day, her parents made the grievous mistake of inviting a demon – a most unsavory character – into their household, and they were rewarded for their generosity by being flayed, raped and bisected. As a result, the young lass had nowhere to live.

Big Sis Jun took it on herself to house Kazumi. Kazumi was so enchanted at the thought of living with Jun that she fantasized aloud about the living arrangements. When she gushed about sharing the same bed together one evening, Jun nearly choked on her eel sushi. Jun immediately sought out a bedding solution that wouldn't make her feel like a slobbering, predatory, cradle-robbing hag.

"Yup," Jun said softly, "The bunk bed was a good idea…"

Kazumi entered the dining room with both their breakfasts. As she placed Jun's plate in front of her, she leaned in to plant a kiss on Jun's lips.

"Cheek… the cheek," Jun reminded Kazumi, "Keep it decent."

Clearly frustrated, Kazumi let loose a sigh. She turned to Jun's cheek and gave it a chaste peck… followed by an amorous lick along the length of the cheek.

This put Jun in an awkward position, torn between arousal and a sense of adult obligation. She raised a finger to scold the younger girl about the liberties she was taking but, damn the girl, she killed the speech with the simplest of greetings.

" G'morning sunshine," Kazumi said in a seemingly guileless voice.

"Morning… sweet pea," Jun replied.

Kazumi batted her eyelashes. "Oooh, sweat pea! I love that one! I love it when you call me sweet names!"

Jun bit her lip. It's time to douse this fire, Jun thought, and quick. "Coffee… please?"

Kazumi nodded and skipped back to the kitchenette. With a few deft gestures, she grabbed the coffee jug and filled two cups with hot java. She sprinkled creamer in one and kept the other black. Kazumi glided back to the dining table and presented the creamed coffee to Jun.

"Cream for my creamy skinned beauty… and I take mine dark…"

As Kazumi ran her hand through Jun's dark hair, she continued, " 'Cause that's how I likes my wimmins!"

Jun announced a change in the subject with a dramatic clearing of her throat. "I think it's high time we discussed the living arrangements."

"I like it here!"

"And I like to have you here," Jun stated with a pleasant smile, then hastily added, "as a visitor!"

"Oh Jun, please!" Kazumi was wheeling out her heaviest artillery now – her cherubic pout. This pout of hers always threatened to liquefy Jun's steel resolve, but Jun pressed onward.

"It's because you have relatives, Kazumi. I think things would be a lot less freaky…"

Kazumi's voice became a distressed whistle. "Freaky?"

"Tense! Tense, I meant to say tense!" _Okay_, Jun thought,_ time for a new strategy_. "It would take a load off my mind if you moved in with your, um…" _What's his name again_? "Uncle Owen and your…" _What's her face_? "Aunt Beru."

Kazumi's protest was the plea of a child half her age. "But they live all the way out in the country!"

Ah yes! Jun thought, relief is in sight! "Which is a nice, green, quiet… er, WOODSY place for a young girl to grow up!"

Kazumi leapt from her seat and slipped her arms around Jun. "Oh but Snuggle-Bumps, we've built a life here together!"

_A life? The two of us? SNUGGLE-BUMPS?_ Jun was on the retreat in this argument once more, and the scalp-tingling pleasure of Kazumi's fingers stroking her hair wasn't helping her resolve. Oo_oh, those magical fingers…_

Kazumi advanced. "I mean we're, like, both models and living this way cool life! Eating at restaurants and wearing fly clothing and posing in bikinis…" Kazumi sighed and met Jun's gaze dreamily. "You look way hot in a bikini, by the by!"

_It's time to be the adult_, Jun decided. She took Kazumi by the shoulders.

"Look Kazumi-chan, I know you have all these feelings toward me and I'm flattered. I really am! And you've got this idea of you and me being together, but there's this itsy-bitsy, teeny-weeny problem.

Kazumi blinked once, twice, three times…

"I give up," she said with all the clueless-ness of a child, "What is it?"

Jun leaned close to Kazumi with a patient smile, then abruptly bellowed, _"YOU'RE FIFTEEN FUCKING YEARS OLD!"_

There! Jun saw victory in her sights. This little slip of jailbait couldn't possibly have a response to that!

To Jun's distress, the amorous smile on Kazumi's face and a bat of her eyelashes proved the battle was far from over. Worse still, Kazumi had a response.

"Well you know what Ailiyah used to say, 'Age ain't nothin' but a number…'"

_WHAT?_ Jun was astounded – _Nothing but a number? And who the hell was Ailiyah?_ Jun jumped up from the table, flailing her arms. "Okay, okay, okay… You want to talk numbers? How about these numbers? Five to ten! That's the sort of time I could serve for seducing a minor!" Jail time! Hello?

Kazumi was unfazed. She returned to her seat and propped herself up in a way that let one half of her bathrobe slide away, revealing one bare leg. _Oh no_, thought Jun, _she's become Anne Bancroft in "The Graduate,"_ only the age was ass backwards.

Worse still, Kazumi delivered that dreaded line. "Would you like ME to seduce you? Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Jun could not turn her attention from that leg. She devolved into a teenage boy. "Whoa…" was all she could manage to say, but once again the adult – The Lady of the Manor – resumed control. "I mean, NO! Stop it! Stop it! Stop it! Look, let me break

it down for you!" Jun took on the air of a private school matron and with an exaggerated flourish of her finger, indicated herself. The lesson had begun.

"I am twenty two," Jun said, then she stabbed her finger between the comely waif's eyes.

"and you are fifteen!"

"Yuh-huh," said Kazumi. Was she feigning clueless-ness?

Jun, running out of options, drew out her syllables for the next half of the lesson. _"FIFFFFFFFF… TEEEEEEEN!"_

Kazumi offered a sly smile. "Well I won't be fifteen forever, Juneykins!

_JUNEYKINS?_ What was with this girl and all these perverse, Americanized permutations of her proper name?

Kazumi rose from the table and took Jun's hands in her own. "Look Jun my darling, I can't hide my feelings for you. I mean, in high school all the girls are so bland and mean and snippy and… uncouth! But you're different from all of them!"

"Yeah, 'cause I'm twenty two."

Kazumi shook her head. "No it's not just that, it's because you're so elegant and dignified and gentle!" What followed was the most important point in the girl's argument. "You don't think belching the kanji alphabet is the greatest achievement in the world!"

Jun bit her lip and flushed at that last part. "Shit," she mumbled. "When I was fifteen I thought it was…"

Kazumi interrupted. "Say what?"

"Nothing!" Jun dismissed her reverie with a wave of her hand. After all, she had an image to present to this girl. But wasn't dispelling Kazumi's image of her the point of this whole argument? This was getting so confusing.

It didn't help her train of thought when Kazumi rose from her seat, closed the distance between the two and started stroking Jun's palms. The girl's voice became smooth and insistent. "My point is, when I'm with you… I can see us having a life together…"

Jun gulped. This palm stroking was wearing down her defenses. She began repeating a mantra in her head: _I'm the adult. I'm the one in charge. I'm the adult…_

Kazumi's voice disrupted the mantra as she continued, "Discussing poetry as we walk through the park, long romantic walks on the beach, complaining about how fat and lazy

Americans are in the trendiest cafes."

_I'm the adult… poetry's nice… I'm in charge… beaches… arm in arm… surf and breeze… I'M IN CHARGE… sharing a double espresso with this emerald eyed nymph… and come to think of it, EVERY American I've ever met was a paunchy, boorish lout… NO, that's a stereotype! I'M THE ADULT HERE… I'm sure there are many thin, well mannered Americans who would appreciate a double espresso or some green tea or a slender, comely TEENAGE youth… ADULT! I'M IN CHARGE… Oh god, she's moving up to my arms… she's stroking them… SAY something!_

Kazumi had plenty to say. Her seduction of the older woman continued, "Play wrestling in the tall grass, stealing kisses in a dim theater during a foreign film festival, nuzzling each other over wine on the terrace…"

She started stroking Jun's shoulders. Jun's eyes darted toward the door, then the window… the door… the window… what was that about wrestling?

"And maybe one day," Kazumi declared, "we could raise a BABY together!"

Jun snapped back to waking life. "A babba-who?"

Kazumi laid out her master plan. "A visit to the fertility clinic makes it possible for a gay couple to have their own child! Oh Jun-chan, one day I want to bring a child into the world… and I want YOU to be the Momma-Daddy!"

Jun opened her mouth and nothing came out. She wagged a finger at Kazumi but no lecture came forth. The phone rang.

Jun's face lit up. "Whew! Saved by the bell! You wait right here, hon… I mean, Kazumi-chan! Momma-Daddy's gotta take this call!"

Jun ran over to the phone and picked up the receiver. _"Mushi-mushi?"_

Over the receiver came an icy voice she normally could not abide. Today was far from normal for Fudou Jun.

"This is Ran Asuka…"

"Thank fucking Christ!" gasped Jun. "What is it?"

Asuka continued, "We've had a BEAST sighting. A car will pick you up in a minute and a half."

"Great! Fantastic! Good news!"

Asuka's voice lost some of its professional cool. "Jun, we're talking about a beast sighting."

Jun blew a raspberry. "Well hoo-de-ha! I've dealt with worse, believe me!" She threw a significant glance at Kazumi. "Okay, I'll be on my way to…"

Think of a cover story Jun. Think! Think! "I'll be on my way to the 'shoot' in a minute and a half!" Jun hastily added, "You're a lifesaver, you know that?"

Asuka's voice took on the tone of a scolding headmistress. "Are you taking this seriously, Jun?"

"YES! GOOD-BYE!"

Jun clapped the phone down and turned to Kazumi, heaving a sigh of relief. "Well what do you know? A client called up for a last minute shoot and I have to be on my way in

less than a minute. Let's see, what to wear? What to wear?"

Kazumi continued her wheedling. "Jun baby, I still want to discuss our future together. Juney-love?"

Jun took a look at what she was wearing: A white bathrobe with a lilac nightgown underneath. Her feet were bare.

"SLIPPERS!" she announced. "That's what I need!"

Jun ran into the bedroom. Kazumi remained in the kitchen but she wasn't about to drop the matter at hand. "Are we still gonna talk about this Jun-sey?"

Jun called from within the bedroom, "Yeah, yeah… sure!" _JUN-SEY_? _Can't she just call me 'Jun-chan' like a normal person?_

Jun sprang from the bedroom in her robe, nightie and slippers and sprinted to the kitchenette. With the dexterity that befitted a runway model, she shoved her breakfast down her mouth, slurped the remnants of her coffee and wiped her face with a dishtowel. Every bit the lady, she stifles a belch. She turns to Kazumi.

"How do I look?"

Kazumi shrugged, "Like you're going to bed!"

Jun nodded. "Good enough!"

Kazumi frowned and shook her head. "You're not seriously going outside dressed like that?

Jun spread her arms wide. "It's the business, babe!" _It's time to set the girl straight on the lifestyle of a model_, Jun thought. "You're just starting out, but one day you'll understand that…" Jun had some profundity on the tip of her tongue, but it wasn't taking flight. "You'll understand that… um… yeah!"

Kazumi – the starry eyed lover only minutes before – became ever more practical. "You haven't even taken a shower!

Jun cleared her throat and drummed her fingers against her hip. She took a quick whiff of her right armpit – it was somewhat funky. _Funky!_ Jun snapped her fingers.

"It's for a deodorant ad!"

From outside the window, there was the brief blare of a car horn. Jun put on a perky smile. She was almost loose from Kazumi's snare. Yay! "That's my cue! Gotta bring

home the bacon! So uh… you just take it easy." She made a few loose gestures at Kazumi. "Comb your hair, paint your nails…"

On the living room coffee table, Jun saw a copy of "Cosmopolitan Nippon". Jun tossed the magazine at Kazumi and continued, "…read a magazine. Do all that teenage girly-girly stuff that you SHOULD be doing!"

Kazumi stepped closer to Jun, batted her eyelashes and sighed. "You rock my world, Jun."

"Der…" _There she goes again with the hero worship_, thought Jun, _and the dewy eyed lust, and here I am undressing her with my eyes and that's BAD NEWS…_ "I gotta motor, Kazumi-chan. See you when I get back!"

Jun grabbed her keys, ran out the door and shut it before Kazumi could trail after her. Kazumi skipped to the door and stroked it with longing fingers.

The door snapped open. Jun peeked her head through with a tight smile, jabbing a finger at Kazumi.

"And one more thing: You? Me? Sex? _No!_ BYE!"

The door snapped shut, leaving Kazumi slumped against it. Kazumi put on her best pouty face, displaying it to a room with no audience to behold it.

Kazumi sat down at the coffee table, and flipped through the "Cosmo Nippon" magazine Jun pushed on her. After scanning the pages for a few seconds, her face lit up as her finger stabbed down on one article.

"Back from a Business Trip: One Sure-Fire Way to Surprise Your Special Someone!"

Kazumi's eyelids narrowed to a conspiratorial width as she licked her lips. "Surprise… Sure-Fire…" the girl purred the words hungrily.


End file.
